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[25/04/2009|07:37pm] |
Been awhile since I last posted and the last ones were pretty depressing.. but this one isnt
Today I hit up TFcon Toronto today and it was fucking great. I did really go for the vendors as there was some toys I wanted to get and I got luckly. I picked up the reissues of Jazz which ive been wanting for years and also Soundwave which was a nice find. I also picked up and out of box Devastator for 120$. It was the best price there for it as everyone else was selling ones with missing parts for 150. This one had all the parts and even the cards for it so I thought it was well worth it. The guy selling it saw me looking at it and said "yeah you really want it, 120$" it was priced for 150 like the rest though. Along with those I also bought the mp3 player soundwave and the rumble and frenzy headphones. They were 60 and 40 each, those were just too sweet to pass up. I also got myself 3 shirts, one of them was for the con itself so I had to get one of those for sure. The last buy I did was a revoltech starscream for my mom. Shes always liked him for some reason.
After the shopping part of the con I decided to go into the panel room. I caught the end of a panel with the lead designer on the new series which I didnt care about but right after that guy was a panel with Dan Gilvezan who did the voice of bumblebee in the original series. Honestly, this was the best part of the con itself. He was just a great and funny guy, telling some stories about his first time in voice acting(80's spideman series) and some about times while doing the transformers series. He had some great jokes about alot of things aswell, one guy asked him how he would do starscream and he said he'd do him as gay and went on to do just that.. One of the best quotes from him was in someone brought up the "holy shit" moment in the original movie, as a joke about how they werent on tv anymore so they could say what ever, he fully said in the bumblebee voice "Optimus, what the fuck?!?" which just caused everyone in the room to break out laughing.
In all, it was a great con which I will be attending next year for sure
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[19/12/2008|07:53pm] |
So I am back home now, the funeral was yesterday
It was highly emotional day for sure
Of course we all had an hour to just the sisters and brother and their family before anyone else came. It was very hard seeing nanny like that. My mother and my aunt ann had such a hard time even going in the room with nanny but we all did go in at some point
People did start showing up and there was alot of people we didnt even know but thats always how it is
My father who I prefer to have nothing to do with showed up but I was fine with that, he did have a right to be there just as he did when my grandfather died but my uncle keith who is normaly very drunk and high stayed sober for that day til after the funeral which was kind of surpising but I think he knew nanny wouldnt have been happy if he was drunk.. But because he wasnt he was going around making sure everyone was ok, when my father showed he was very quick to come to me and bring me downstairs and even bought me a drink then took me outside to get a smoke. He really did a very good job of checking everyone.
Before the service started we all got to be in there with all the other people gone to go up. My mother and aunt ann and us kids went up together which was very good for my mom and aunt, they broke down and my other aunts and uncle went up to them as they were crying
The sisters and brother had many talks in the days before and all made sure they would be there for each other at the funeral and they were,
After that they were lead into the chaple for the service which I didnt go into, I couldnt go in there because that would have been saying goodbye to nanny forever for me... thats not something I can ever do.
The person doing the service opened it up by reading the post I did about her, we were all asked if we wanted something read by us kids and since no one else did I let my aunt tracy read it and she liked it and said it was ok. I was told it was emotional to hear, my uncle ron said it even made him cry to hear it
The great aunts who I dont get along with and the ones that were mainly the targets of what I wrote were shocked by it to the point that even one of them, the one that never can even remember me came up to me after the service was over and said "Im sorry if I ever judged you"
The day my aunt tracy read it she said "I accept you" and that was nice.
After everyone went downstairs to eat I stayed up abit longer with my aunt tracy and we had a talk, it was really hard but I did need someone to talk to and she was there. I told her I don't know how Im going to really deal with this and that I don't think I really can. I havent been truely suicidal for many years but now.. I just don't know, I dont know how I can really live without nanny and grampy. Though many years was hard when my depression first came out, they both did start to accept it and they were both really strong for me. When grampy died I had nanny, she was so strong that I was able to deal with it but now I don't have her
The only other thing I got left to say is that I was incorrect about them deciding to take her off the meds and stuff, that was mostly because of confusing from hearing it from tim and my sister, it was the doctors that decided it but they were there with her when she passed.
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[16/12/2008|12:17am] |
Im going away in the morning, the funeral is this thrusday.
I had paid for my mother to fly there before she died and asked her to come back instead of staying longer so she could drive up there with me
I didnt want to be there while she was in the hospital, not something I could handle but I will go for the funeral and thankfuly the funeral home is being very helpful
None of us could afford the funeral and the government wont pay for it, but there is some money coming from some ccp thing and the funeral home is covering the rest of the cost which is very nice of them
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[13/12/2008|06:10pm] |
And shortly after that last post, she died
My grandmother is now gone just as my grandfather 2 years ago
I will be sad, for along while
But as Ive learned, don't mourn
Im not sorry shes gone, my mother, aunt and uncle were there
Not all of her childern but most
They were the ones that decided to take her off the meds and ventelater
She didnt last very long at all off them which just meant they were only making her suffer longer
Shes gone, my mother has lost both her parents and I lost the two only grandparents that really cared about me
I was never cared much for by most of my family, im an outcast among them all because im so different, because I have mental problems.
For a time they too didnt understand at all what was wrong for me but they did end up just accepting Im never going to be "normal"
My grandmother is the only person I ever really let hug me and never got bothered by it
I looked forward to all the cards she sent me with her little drawings in it, I always threw away every other card I got but not hers... and now the last one I will get from her... she wont even be able to give me it herself
No more cookies, apple pies, gingerbread houses, cards, shot glasses...
All the things shes given me for so many years
All these things that remind me, make me think about her.
All of it just memories
They all made me smile... maybe one day thinking about them will make me smile again but for now
I cant.
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[13/12/2008|03:14pm] |
im tired of hearing "we are praying"
IT DOESNT FUCKING WORK
Pray all you fucking want, it changes nothing
It doesnt help
Its nothing more then FALSE hope
I dont want to hear it anymore
My grandmother is sick and they are saying she most likely wont make it
Don't fucking tell me your praying for her, don't tell me you hope she'll make it
Don't fucking tell me your sorry
I lost my grandfather 2 years ago and now.. Im losing her
Fuck your faith, fuck your religion and fuck your praying. It means nothing
"Now ask yourself do you feel betrayed? Because nothing ever changes when we pray" - Warrel Dane
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[14/11/2008|12:47am] |
Way too many games now... Fable 2 which was fun. Midnight Club LA which was kind of fun but also very frustrating. Fallout 3 which Im liking alot, Gears Of War 2 which is alot of fun aswell but Im annoyed that the canadian LE version had a french hard cover of the art book.. really annoyed but I also the lancer too which is neat and now mirrors edge which is a really interesting FPS.. well FPR, its a fun game.
More games still coming out but I might wait on those... plus NXE for me tomorrow so yay for getting it a week before its released.. never though I was going to get the preview thing since that stuff was supposed to be sent out last week but now I got it
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[17/10/2008|11:16pm] |
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Iced Earth - Harbinger of fate |
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I am really loving this new Iced Earth album.... such a damn good year for metal with death angel, testament, iced earth, warrel dane, jeff loomis, nevermore dvd, get thrashed doc.
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[12/10/2008|11:49pm] |
Well I had a great few weeks
Tana was here and it was really nice. I bought myself an hdtv the day she got here so we spent alot of time watching and playing 360 on it.. 360 games look so much nicer now
She left saturday and so I was pretty depressed and also worried about her getting back home so I went out and bought myself a blu ray player... yep i buy when im depressed so go me.
But it was a good visit. Bought some dvds too like little little britain, its such a funny but fucked up show. Also got robot chicken season 3 and a couple of other dvds.
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[30/08/2008|01:25am] |
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Iced Earth - I Walk Alone |
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I am the monster no one wants to see
The glimpse at a futures past thats ignored
The murderer, the tormentor and the liar
Hidden for all to fear
I am the figment no one wants to believe
The damage of a mind so shattered and pained
The hatred, the fear and the suffering
Given for me to fear
I am the monster that I deny
The torn reality that can't be defined
The ignorance, the disbelief and the forgotten
Shown for more to fear
I am
Lost - 30-08-08
I wrote something.. first time in years
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[02/08/2008|12:40am] |
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T?r - Gr?mur ? Mi?alnesi |
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So i decided im going to learn how to play guitar and im going to have to stick to it this time because I got a 500$ guitar that was bought for me
Now if only I could easily get someone to teach me how to play for free and make it almost instant that I can play it... heh
Ahwell I all I got myself a couple of books, one about learning to play the guitar and another that just shows chords, I figure thats a good place to start
Either way, I got myself a sweet ltd f250 and i need to learn to play it.
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[22/05/2008|07:44pm] |
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Social Distortion - I Was Wrong |
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I grew up fast
And I grew up hard
Something was wrong from the very start
I was fighting everybody
I was fighting everything
But the only one that I hurt was me
I got society's blood running down my face
Somebody help me get outta this place
How could someone's bad luck last so long?
Until I realized that I was wrong
yup, just a damn good song
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[14/05/2008|09:52am] |
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Behemoth - At the Left Hand ov God |
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Ugh, its may and I fucking hate this month.. my computer is dying so I had to order a new one
its pretty damn bad ass though
But... I made a big fucking mistake that Im so going to regret, infact its a repeat mistake... I really am insane after all and soon it will be proven if weither or not this mistake comes to full
Fuck.
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[17/03/2008|07:34pm] |
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Warrel Dane - When We Pray |
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The world is ruled by fools and theives, the flare for power and a taste for greed. Now ask yourself, do you feel betrayed? Cause nothing ever changes when we pray.
yes I did download it because I couldnt wait... and you know what I am fucking buying it when it comes out because its damn good and warrel never lets down.
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[14/03/2008|09:44pm] |
so here I am in clarksville tn. Im heading home this sunday and Ive been here since the 2nd.
its been a good trip and even spent some time in nashville shopping where I got one of the FX lightsabers for 50$ which is damn good price.
Ive also got some angel sanctuary art books and tomorrow Im going bowling.
But yeah its been good and stuff but im also looking forward to getting home again and making sure gir is ok. Hes been really sad and missing me. Kept my mom up all night one night crying because he couldnt get down by my door
Well thats it i guess
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| Games of 2007 |
[26/01/2008|08:10am] |
Well time for the games!! yeah im slow
1. Halo 3.
Yeah Im sure if anyone reads this still they'd be like 'Wha? your just one of the sheep!" or something like that but fucking damnit, I really enjoyed it. Im not a big fanboy of the series. The first game was boring, the second was ok but this one really was good. It had great graphics, alot of funny stuff in the game (Look for the RvB easter egg and then turn on the skull that changes the script to get the second version of.) and well MP was alot of fun.
2. Assassin's Creed.
Yeah, truely amazing game. I loved how open it was and it was a great story. A very different play on an old concept. Free running was done really good and exploring this huge world was alot of fun. Though the combat system was simple it was still fun and thats whats important in a game.
3. Guitar Hero 3.
Much like the last and alot of great songs. They did make some of it easier with hammer ons and pull offs but also made it harder to give old players more of a challange but I will be honest in that I couldnt stand the battles. That shit was too annoying.
4. Rock Band.
This gets lower then GH3 for the sole reason that it was the worst release in canadian history. Im still pissed off how shitty they went about releasing it here. But over all the game is alot of fun, much easier then GH3 and they did have some much better songs then GH3. Though when it comes to DLC, even if its out every week GH3 does have masters and Rock band has covers of great old songs.
5. Ace Combat 6.
Love this series but after playing it awhile I am abit let down some. Mostly because it lacked a great story like in 5. It did look far better though. I thought it would be hard for them to top how realistic it looked in 4 but they did beat it.
Now if they only were to make the ground sized realisticly and detailed.
6. God Of War 2.
Yeah, I dont think I have to say much about this. The last great game for the ps2. If you havent played it you should.
7. Crackdown.
It was seen by alot of people as the game that came with the halo 3 beta but thankfuly it changed and became a game of its own as it really was good. Running around faster then the cars, jumping so damn high and then blowing shit up. It was good fun.
8. Beautiful Katamari.
So even though I had a ps2 I still never played the games until this one.. I really wish I did play them because this one was alot of fun. Its such a retarded game but so much fun and you cant go wrong with that.
9. Overlord.
Such a weird game thats just fun to play even with its few problems.
A really unique game for what it is too. Thats all I got to say on it.
10. Shadowrun.
This is in the list so I can complain about it again... ITS NOT SHADOWRUN! I dont care that the used the name. Shadowrun had far more depth to it then this thing.. fuck it wasnt even a full game it was just a MP addon they sold for the same price of a full game. Think the UT series but with even less stuff and less fun.
Anyway thats it, 2008 shall be a great year for games too and it already started out good with burnout paradise. Cant wait for more games to play on the 360
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[02/01/2008|01:56pm] |
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Avantasia - Lost In Space |
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2007 reviews part 1
And so heres some reviews now.. this is about the music ive listened to this year, there was alot that came out too. Was a good year for metal
1: Nocturnal Rites - The 8th Sin.
This is just the best album Ive heard. Im still pretty new to this band, only got into them over a year ago but Ive liked what I heard. Over all this album got my top spot because its just flawless to me. Great music and lyrics all around, no one song I didnt really like on it.
2: Kamelot - Ghost Opera | One Cold Winter's Night(DVD)
Yeah this shouldnt be a surprise, they've been releasing great albums for quite awhile now and this one is no different in that sense. There were alittle let downs on the album but mostly it was a soild release for them. Their DVD on the other hand, a really good live show with a few odd parts. Mostly the dvd is just their live but does have some bonus stuff like their very few music videos.
3: Paradise Lost - Requiem.
Not much to say really about it, this album is far better then their last though. Its a good release from them though I dont understand why people were saying its a return to form for them. Honestly even though I like all their albums I don't want to see them going back to their old days, music should be about growth and not regression.
4: Dethklok - The Dethalbum.
Yeah, just fucking brutal.
5: Pain Of Salavation - Scarsick.
This one came out at the begining of the year, it was really good and better then their last. Its the second part that started with The Perfect Element. The lyrics as always are great, music though left alittle to be lacking to me. Though the music on the album was more "band oriented" it wasnt really that good, some of it felt so "nu metal" and thats not really good.
6: Pain - Psalms of Extinction.
Well, this one would have gotten higher except for the fact too many albums came out that I liked. This one like most out this year was better then last. That one left me just feeling meh were as this album had some songs that really stood out to me and caught me like ones on his other albums did. Good album, still not a better nothing remains the same and the ones before that.
7: Avantasia - Lost In Space EPS
These were damn good and a nice hold over til the release of the new album. Its been a few years since the second metal opera album came out and Im really looking forward to the new one.
ok there was more albums that came out that I enjoyed but dont really have anything to say about them so bah!
Next review will either be games or movies I dont know yet.
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[23/10/2007|10:38pm] |
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Nocturnal Rites - Me |
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So been wrapped up in halo 3 lately, its been fun on MP and stuff but thats about to change tomorrow since then I'll have ace combat 6 which is the main reason why I bought a 360. That is my favourite video game series.. Its just too much fun
But then next week guitar hero 3 comes out which im also buying, Ive played the demo some and neversoft managed not to completely fuck it up, then a month after that is rock band.. damn I hate this season, too many games to buy and not enough money
Ohwell Im having a visitor next week who will be staying for a week and then after that another friend of mine will most likely be coming to hang out for a weekend and game with me
I so rarely update this now.. ohwell heres the lyrics to a really good song
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One, just one more drink
One last cigarette and I am on my way
Oh last night, it?s all a haze
Here I pave my way through filth and broken glass
Something is not the same
Something is different from before
Guess that I, guess I died inside
When there?s nothing more
When I?d tried it all
Come undone, when the odds were close to none
When the moment?s there
The divide I beware
Then it?s me, only me
Torn, still torn and bruised
But I?ve had my run, and I?ll, I?ll see it through
All for you, my sweet farewell
Oh, I can?t believe that I survived this hell
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[12/09/2007|10:41am] |
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Dethklok - Murmaider |
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| You Are 90% Evil | 
You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you! |
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Swords? Check.
Saws? Check.
Clubs? Check.
Claws? Check.
Hatred? Check.
Anger? Check.
Mermaid? Check.
Murder? Check.
MURDER! MURDER! MERMAID! MURDER!
Your life was ended by mermaids.
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[11/09/2007|12:13am] |
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Dethklok - Better Metal Snake |
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ok the year might not be over yet but the best fucking album EVER is out next week..
Dethklok - The Dethalbum
Buy and go die... ITS FUCKING AMAZING..
seriously for a "joke" band this album really is amazing
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